Movie Review: Cloud Atlas

Talk about your bad karma!  Oh, lord.  “Cloud Atlas” is probably the worst big-budget film so far in 2012.

What was that Robin Williams metaphysics movie about heaven and earth?  That’s what “Cloud Atlas” reminds me of.

“We are all connected.”  Yes, WE GOT THE POINT after only 15 minutes of this nearly 3-hour long turkey.

Tom Hanks and an all-star cast play multiple roles in a sci-fi drama that’s like a half-dozen bad movies all rolled into one.  It takes place at six different points in Earth’s time continuum.  And we learn, ad nauseam , that the action’s of one person can have an impact on many others.  I think there was an old “Outer Limits” episode that said the same thing in only 54 minutes.  And, it was a lot more interesting.

By the way, I’m not anti-Wachowski brothers (now brother-sister).  I interviewed them for two excellent films, “Bound” and the original “The Matrix.”  They really haven’t done anything since.  Except waste a truckload of money.  “Run, Lola, Run” director Tom Twyker directed three of the six segments.  I cut him some slack.  He’s German.

So, what are my major complaints?  Too many to name in a single writing.  It’s mainly annoyances.  The dumbspeak created for the post apocalyptic future of Earth reminds me of the Jar Jar Binks babel from the first three episodes of “Star Wars.”

The editing (which will probably win some awards) is designed to make critics and geeks freak.  The story whips from one time frame to the next, so that by the time you get to the end of the film…if you understand half of the connections, you will feel like a genius.  Therefore, you’ll heap praise on the filmmakers, congratulating yourself for figuring some of it out.

If you like fancy editing and a complicated story, revisit “Inception.”  The film is brilliant and intelligent.  “Cloud Atlas” is like an over-budgeted soap opera.  Grade: D+

Fast Facts:

Opened: October 26, 2012

Distributed by Warner Brothers

Runtime: 164 minutes

Budget: north of $100 million

Rated: “R”